


Vulnerability

by Nerdanel



Series: Clamp Stuff [3]
Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Canon Typical Violence, M/M, a bodyguard au no one asked for, but have at it anyway, some smut I suppose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 03:02:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6638644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdanel/pseuds/Nerdanel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurogane twitched. “In what world do I look like a <i>teenage girl</i> to you?” He avoided adding an expletive at the end of it, just barely. They were still in public. </p>
<p>Or the bodyguard AU where Tomoyo is a politician and Kurogane is her grumpy protector, until Fai comes into the picture.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vulnerability

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure something like this already exists? It's entirely possible...but anyway, this idea wouldn't stop bothering me until I wrote it down. Hope it amuses someone, at least!

“So, Kuro-tan, was it?” The guy asked, all sincerity in his luminous blue eyes and wide smile.

 

Kurogane gaped, if only for a moment. “It’s _Kurogane_.” Was the guy deaf? He was a foreigner, though he spoke fluently, so he could be excused for not getting Kurogane’s name properly. However, there was no excuse for _diminutives_. Ever.

 

“Hmmm,” he made a show of ruminating briefly before brightening up even more. “Kuro-puu!”

 

Kurogane slammed his fist on the table, rattling their drinks and even spilling some. He glared at the unsolicited company quite sourly. “ _Kurogane_.”

 

“Kuro-rin!” The other guy said in a lilted tone, and Kurogane swore he saw _sparkles_ around his face, as if he’d walked out of a shoujo manga.

 

It was a pity too, because Kurogane did like shoujo manga, and this blond guy seemed like he’d walked out of the pages of one of them, and yet just the sight of him was making his blood boil. “Will you stop with these silly nicknames?” He growled, threateningly, and took an angry sip of his alcohol before this guy made him spill it all.

 

“But isn’t it cute?” The guy said with a small pout – puckering those bright, _glossy_ lips – that was attractive on him despite everything.

 

Kurogane swallowed – the alcohol, that is. “It’s something teenage girls do to each other,” he explained, because it was possible that the guy did not know, being a foreigner and all. “Not grown men.”

 

Those blue eyes widened and Kurogane felt a small sense of victory. Now that he’d resolved this misunderstanding, he could enjoy his vacation in _relative_ peace, in that it depended upon whether the blond guy would then leave him alone or not. He hadn’t even introduced himself, for goodness’ sake, and yet had managed to get on the last of Kurogane’s frayed nerves.

 

“Then it suits you perfectly!” The blond guy _cooed_. He reached out and grasped Kurogane’s larger, darker hands and cupped them in delight. “Thank you for letting me know!”

 

Kurogane twitched. “In what world do I look like a _teenage girl_ to you?” He avoided adding an expletive at the end of it, just barely. They were still in public.

 

The guy – so fucking annoying – waved his hand imperiously. “It’s not about appearances, silly Kuro-chii! It’s about what’s _inside_.” And to emphasise his point, he jabbed his finger into Kurogane’s chest.

 

Kurogane made a grab at the offending digit, but the blond guy snatched it out of the way with impressive speed. Kurogane raised his eyebrow: so there was something _more_ to him than just a head full of crazy. Kurogane gulped his drink down and ordered another, stiffer one. It didn’t matter if it was still early, he needed something _stronger_ , damn it, to deal with this blue-eyed pestilence. The fact that he was easy on the eyes did nothing to mitigate the sheer crap that came out of his mouth as soon as he opened it.

 

“Kuro-rin,” he whined, poking him in the arm – what was with all this touching? – when Kurogane stubbornly ignored him. “Order me a drink too!”

 

“I will,” Kurogane said, slowly. “But will you leave me alone then, um.” He paused, leaving the perfect cue for the other to _finally_ give his long-overdue name.

 

“Fai,” the man said cheerfully. “Fai D. Flourite!” His smile stretched so wide that Kurogane wondered if it wasn’t painful to constantly smile like that? “And why would I leave you _alone_? When I came here, you were sitting here so sad and alone like an abandoned puppy! Look at you now!”

 

“Don’t address people like they are dogs!” Kurogane hissed, stifling the urge to shout at the top of his lungs. He had a sinking feeling that even if he were screaming, it still wouldn’t get through to Fai’s thick head. He took a deep breath and motioned the barman to get Fai another drink, and Fai, being the asshole that he was, patted him on the head.

 

“Good boy!” He chirped, ruffling Kurogane’s spiky hair.

 

“Are you drunk?” Kurogane growled, clenching his fingers far too hard around the glass in his hand, thanking the heavens that it wasn’t too delicate, in lieu of not strangling Fai. “You are, aren’t you?”

 

Fai shook his head and danced out of the way when Kurogane reached forward to grab his shoulder and shake him. “Not at all! I’d be meowing if I was getting drunk!”

 

Kurogane suppressed a shudder and scooted away from Fai in case the dire things he spoke of _precipitated._ He couldn’t deal with a sober, non-meowing Fai, so there was no way he could deal with whatever happened when the idiot did get drunk. Fai had the gall to laugh at his wariness.

 

The evening dragged on, with the idiot keeping up the inane chatter going next to him while Kurogane imbibed as much alcohol as he could. He was on a _vacation_ because of that thrice-damned charge of his. A forced vacation was about as relaxing as an evening with Fai, and he’d combined the two somehow. It was a wonder his head hadn’t simply imploded from all the stress he was being put through. As the alcohol mellowed him out, he stopped protesting – too heavily – at all the nicknames, and the next hour had him enduring all the casual touching and giggling.

 

By the time it was eleven, he had drunken enough to admit that maybe Fai was a little _too_ attractive and he wouldn’t mind tapping that. He was still in full possession of all his faculties, and the idiot was too, so Kurogane paid their tab and got up, steady on his feet. Fai got to his feet too, and batted his eyelashes at Kurogane in an exaggerated manner.

 

“Come with me,” Kurogane said gruffly and wrapped an arm around Fai’s slender waist. Fai simply fell into him, fingers curling into his shirt and breath damp against Kurogane’s neck. His steps were a little uncoordinated but Kurogane could tell it was mostly for his benefit.

 

“Where are we going, Kuro-pipi?” Fai asked brightly and nuzzled his neck.

 

“My room,” Kurogane said and wrapped his arm tighter around Fai’s body. “You’ve been angling for this entire evening, haven’t you?”

 

Fai grinned, a touch too sly to look genuinely under the influence, and Kurogane pursed his lips. Fai ignored his expression and let his eyes wander appreciatively over Kurogane’s frame, making him blush just a little. “Maybe,” Fai purred and slid his hand over Kurogane’s chest. “I couldn’t resist someone as manly and handsome like Kuro-pyon.”

 

“Would you quit it with the nicknames?” Kurogane said, half-heartedly at best. He was too buzzed to be really angry, though he knew that come morning he’d regret this. For all he knew, Fai was some kind of thief here to rob him and he was leading him to his room like a chump. Except, he hadn’t carried anything to his vacation – Tomoyo had made sure of that – that could be stolen. Well, just one thing and he doubted any thief would want to steal a _katana_ , unless that was they’d been after all along.

 

“No,” Fai told him, short and simple, and pressed a sloppy kiss to his jaw distracting him immediately.

 

Kurogane grumbled, but dragged Fai along all the same. They reached his room and it took him a couple of seconds to swipe his card, if only because he had to remove his hands from Fai’s person and he felt reluctant to do so. Fai was very warm and smelt – not sweet, but there was a soft spicy scent to him that Kurogane did like. And while Fai appeared slender to look and touch, the moment Kurogane put his hands on him, he knew that this body was _toned_ , all lean muscle and sinew. He couldn’t wait to undress him and map it with his tongue and hands.

 

Fai was just as eager, though he did not show it overtly and instead settling on coy and coquettish. He allowed himself to be pressed against a wall, wrapping his legs around Kurogane’s hips and Kurogane braced his hand against the wall so as to not push too hard. He held Fai with the other and rocked into him, devouring his mouth as their bodies pressed against each other – still clothed. He couldn’t be bothered; he wanted Fai _now_ , and Fai wasn’t exactly protesting.

 

They spent themselves in their pants, laughing a little breathlessly, and broke apart. Fai’s legs wobbled under him and Kurogane supported him, holding him up as he began to tug on Fai’s brightly-coloured silk shirt. Fai got the message and took it off, chucking it to the side when it was off and undressed Kurogane with the same sense of urgency. His hands only trembled a little. Kurogane grasped at his fingers: pressed them to his lips and sucked on them. Fai’s breath left him in a stutter and Kurogane took advantage of that, picking him up and depositing him on the bed unceremoniously but no less gentle for that.

 

He tugged off Fai’s pants and underwear, wiping him down with the soiled cloth as much as he could, and then straddled him. It was surprising how the idiot had become quiet the moment things got serious – Kurogane had been worried that it would make things awkward, but somehow it didn’t happen. Fai’s skin glowed a little under the ambient lighting of the hotel room, his face flushed and his beautiful blue eyes were _smoky_. His desire was evident in his silence, in his submission, and Kurogane was no fool. Fai was _beautiful_. His body was a blank canvas, unless you knew where to look, and Kurogane wasn’t one of the best bodyguards in the business for nothing. He saw the mess of scarring on Fai’s elegant fingers and wrists, he saw the firmness of Fai’s flesh and the fluidity of his movements.

 

Fai’s body wasn’t blank like he was trying to make Kurogane believe. It was full of stories and secrets – hidden well, but not enough. It wasn’t Kurogane’s place to go poking around where he wasn’t invited, so he ignored what his sensory inputs were telling him and focused on what he had been allowed. He did map Fai’s body with his fingers, learning his spots by watching his reactions and took his time covering him with kisses and soft bites. Fai moaned wordlessly, bucking and arching helplessly as his cock stirred and hardened under Kurogane’s merciless attention.

 

“Not so talkative now, are you?” Kurogane whispered, harsh and breathless, into Fai’s ear before he bit into the soft flesh of his earlobe.

 

Fai laughed: fisted his fingers into Kurogane’s hair and pulled him for a kiss. Fai tasted like alcohol, heady and warm and Kurogane thought he could just keep kissing until the end of time. It did have the added benefit of keeping Fai’s mouth shut, though sex seemed to do the job too. Speaking of _which_. He rummaged into the bedside drawer and smirked when he did find some lube and condoms.

 

The sight of the bottle made the colour on Fai’s cheeks _darken_. His blond hair clung to his forehead because of the sweat and his chest rose and fall with every shallow breath he took, painting a beautiful picture of desire in Kurogane’s eyes. Kurogane wanted to have Fai, to take him and make him cry out in pleasure. But Fai’s curious silence had him hesitating. He uncapped the lube bottle and spread it generously over his fingers, before taking a deep breath and plunging his finger into his _own_ body. As much as he wanted to take Fai, he also wished to feel Fai inside him. And if Fai was comfortable with him, wanted him like he was trying to show, then perhaps they’d both have what they wanted by the end.

 

He did not miss the look of shock that flit past Fai’s features the moment when Kurogane penetrated himself, and Fai rose on his elbows, kiss-bitten mouth falling open. Something shimmered in his gaze before it locked with his own, raw and open and Kurogane groaned, reaching forward to kiss the frown from his mouth.

 

Fai gasped against his lips like a man drowning and Kurogane pulled his fingers free: grasped Fai’s cock, rolled the condom on it, and with his slick fingers guided it inside. They both moaned and Kurogane pushed Fai down, lowering himself as well so that he was pressed flush against Fai’s body.

 

“Kuro-pin,” Fai said, speaking for the first time since they came to his room and Kurogane was never gladder to hear something in his life, even if it was something so stupid.

 

Kurogane moved, rocked himself into Fai’s lap, closing his eyes as Fai’s cock moved within him. It burned just a little, mostly from the lack of preparation, but Kurogane did not mind it. Fai was hot and firm inside him, stretching him to the point that it hurt. Kurogane kept moving until the ache tapered off, leaving warm sparks skittering along his spine and turned into pleasure. Fai wrapped his fingers around Kurogane’s neglected erection and they moved in tandem, faster and faster until Fai’s cock found the right spot inside him.

 

He came first, and Fai followed him right behind, a choked cry leaving his lips – a mangled version of his name, but what else was new? Kurogane panted as he left Fai’s lap, rolled off to lie next to him, gathering Fai to his body. Fai did not protest, going silent once again. His heartbeat was loud next to Kurogane’s chest and showed no signs of slowing down.

 

“Was that okay?” Kurogane asked, voice a little a hoarse but soft at the same time.

 

“Yes,” Fai whispered into Kurogane’s shoulder and clung to him. “Yes.”

 

“Good,” Kurogane said and closed his eyes. “I’m sleepy – do you mind?”

 

Fai shook his head and Kurogane found himself falling asleep within a few moments. Maybe he’d have to thank Tomoyo after all, because this vacation idea wasn’t as bad as he’d first believed it to be. The last thing he remembered before the sleep pulled him under was the press of Fai’s cheek against his skin, a little too warm to be normal, but Kurogane was too far gone to realise why.

 

* * *

 

Fai was gone, predictably, by the time Kurogane had woken up. He got dressed, went through morning ablutions perfunctorily – his heart wasn’t in it today – and packed his stuff. He did not check if there was anything missing: he’d had Fai yesterday and he already knew that Fai wasn’t a _thief_. He could be a lot of things, but a thief he was not. Kurogane lingered for a moment at the mussed bed sheets, trailing his fingers over the pillow where Fai had lain, and sighed softly. He couldn’t believe he’d let a stranger – and one _as_ annoying as that – get to him like that. What would Tomoyo think if she knew?

 

He was back by her side by afternoon. She had taken one look at him, and he’d braced to be yelled at for cutting short his _forced_ vacation, and her expression softened. Was she somehow psychic, Kurogane thought, panicking mildly, but Tomoyo refused to make any comments whatsoever. She simply reached out and he took her hand, bowing slightly and escorted her to her car. She could be the future prime minister of this country and guarding her was _his_ job, and no matter how she teased him, they both knew how deep their bond ran.

 

Tomoyo was an accomplished politician, headstrong and unrelenting when it came to her public policy. She was very popular because of her policies, even if they were unorthodox. Some people blamed her for following her sister’s coattails, using her position and authority to climb up in public eye and get away with her outrageous policies. Kurogane knew what a load of bullshit that was. Tomoyo had nothing but the best interest of the people at heart, and the people weren’t _stupid_ enough to not be able to see that.  She’d been accused of being a populist, but they were too blind to see exactly why she’d clicked with the people.

 

Then again, most people who got power let it get to their heads and couldn’t hear the cries of the public anymore in their ivory-gilded towers.

 

And the thing with those people was that they were also unfair and unkind, ruthless to the point of wanting Tomoyo _out_ of the way. If she died, no matter how much condemnation it would invite for the incumbent government, she’d still be gone and they had no replacement for her. If anything, her sister might benefit from it and while Kurogane supposed she was a capable ruler, neither of them would want it to happen at the cost of Tomoyo’s life. She would never accept to step into Tomoyo’s shoes after her sister was gone. She was cruel and harsh, but the love she had for her sister was true.

 

It was the only reason they could stand each other, after all.

 

“You’re frowning again, Kurogane,” Tomoyo said, drawing him from his thoughts.

 

He rolled his eyes at her. “So what?”

 

“We’re going to meet another bodyguard for me – that would make them your _partner_ ,” Tomoyo said, placidly though a mischievous grin was threatening to break through.

 

He hadn’t really noticed it though, as shocked as he was by the idea of Tomoyo having _another bodyguard_. The first feeling he felt once the shock passed was _hurt_ , anger coming second and third a sharp sense of disappointment and inadequacy. Tomoyo sobered up immediately even though Kurogane had kept his face carefully blank. She placed her hand on Kurogane’s arm and shook her head slightly.

 

“It’s on my sister’s insistence. With the election cycle so close, she doesn’t want to take any chances. I’m sorry, Kurogane,” she said, her sweet voice faltering somewhat. That, if nothing else, was enough to rouse Kurogane from his stupor.

 

“Keh,” he bit out. “I hope whoever it is doesn’t get in my way. If you’re in danger, I’ll cut them down too.” He clenched his hand around the sword at his waist and ground his teeth.

 

“They have been vetted by Yuuko-san,” Tomoyo said. Her hand hadn’t left Kurogane’s arm and its warmth grounded him against all the injustice in the world.

 

He knew he could protect Tomoyo – he _knew_ , but adding an unknown variable, even if approved by that damned woman, was inviting trouble. He did not betray his apprehensions to Tomoyo, however, as it wasn’t her fault. He wanted to have a few words with her sister, but she was out of the country and would remain so until the cycle was over and the results declared. It was all very convenient.

 

The car halted and Kurogane climbed out first, glancing around suspiciously – it was his job, after all – and then allowed Tomoyo to step out. Together they walked into Ichihara Towers, a tall and imposing building – quite like its owner. Kurogane couldn’t keep the distaste showing on his face, though it made Tomoyo giggle. They took the elevator to the top floor and Kurogane remained on alert at all times. This building was one of the safest places in the country, he knew, and yet he couldn’t relax. They managed to leave the elevator unscathed regardless, and stepped into Ichihara Yuuko’s office without any incident.

 

The smell of her pipe smoke hit him and he scowled, shutting the door behind him. Yuuko was lounging in the director’s chair while her neurotic and high-strung secretary greeted them. Tomoyo inclined her head at both of them and took her seat, while Kurogane stood behind her and glowered at Yuuko.

 

She was unfazed, but he expected no better having known her for years already. She smiled then, sly as a cat, and sat up straighter. “Tomoyo-hime, I’m glad you could make it so soon.”

 

“Kurogane returned a little ahead of schedule, so I figured that we might as well get acquainted, Yuuko-san,” Tomoyo said, pleasantly, not minding the nickname.

 

“Watanuki,” Yuuko crooned at her hapless secretary. Kurogane winced in sympathy. “Go fetch that person for Tomoyo-hime.”

 

Watanuki exited without comment, and Yuuko pushed a steaming cup of cherry blossom tea in Tomoyo’s direction. Tomoyo lifted the delicate cup in her palms, her posture strictly following the years and years of practice of _chadou_ , and sipped at it. Her face took a fond look, even as a sad smile tugged at her lips. Kurogane frowned at Yuuko for her troubles, but did not garner a reaction. Damn woman.

 

“How’s Sakura-chan?” Tomoyo asked, putting the cup down and folding her hands.

 

“She’s fine. Says she misses you.”

 

“Hong Kong isn’t that far away. I guess I should go pay her a visit sometime,” Tomoyo said with a touch of wistfulness.

 

“Sometime,” Yuuko agreed. “Once the elections are over.”

 

Tomoyo smiled and said nothing at all.

 

Something about that last bit sat ill in Kurogane’s stomach. He blamed it on the binge-drinking he’d done last night and continued showing his displeasure to an unaffected Yuuko. Just as Tomoyo had finished her tea, the door opened to admit Watanuki and the mysterious bodyguard Tomoyo’s sister had gotten for her. Kurogane refused to turn his head and look at them just yet – he didn’t want to seem overeager or pathetic.

 

However, all his plans to not overreact in front of the new bodyguard failed – and _how_ – when a familiar scent hit his senses. He turned, wide-eyed, and found himself looking at flaxen hair, cornflower blue eyes, and that fake as hell smile. Their eyes met: Kurogane’s heart got stuck in his mouth as Fai’s smile refused to falter. He walked up to Tomoyo and bowed, low and formal.

 

“Fai D. Flourite, at your service, Daidouji Tomoyo-sama.”

 

“Hello,” Tomoyo said pleasantly. She glanced at Kurogane briefly and then back to Fai. “Please lift your head.” When Fai did as she’d asked him, she turned her head in Kurogane’s direction and said, “This is Kurogane, my bodyguard and your new partner. He will show you around and give you all the information you need. Please consult him if you have any questions or needs.”

 

“Hello,” Fai said, extending his hand and looking at him with laughter dancing in his eyes.

 

Kurogane did not take that hand.

 

* * *

 

“Kuro-pyu is soooo mean,” Fai complained. _Loudly_. Right in the car where Tomoyo sat, making her giggle again and Kurogane gave both of them the most peeved expression he could manage.

 

“You didn’t tell me you already knew Fai-san, Kurogane,” Tomoyo said airily. It had taken Fai and Tomoyo five minutes to hit it off the moment the car rolled away from Ichihara Towers, and the sick feeling in Kurogane’s stomach solidified into a heavy, dreadful weight.

 

“Did you _know_?” Kurogane demanded, ignoring Tomoyo.

 

“It’s impossible not to know you, Kuro-chii,” Fai said, that awful grin still plastered firmly on his face. “You are on the TV often enough.”

 

“Fuck you,” Kurogane said, stung. He couldn’t believe it. Had this guy approached him, seduced him because he knew he was going to join Tomoyo’s security detail from tomorrow? Knowing that it could have had the effect of forever alienating Kurogane? In fact, Kurogane was pretty sure that he was permanently put off this guy. This was unforgivable – in so many ways, and the way Tomoyo was all over him wasn’t helping.

 

“Such a grumpy puppy,” Fai said and Tomoyo nodded.

 

Kurogane felt like jumping off the car and leaving, except protecting Tomoyo was _his_ job and he couldn’t leave it to someone as crafty as Fai. Or anyone, really. Defeated, he hunched over in a corner and ignored the chatter they had going, pretending his chest did not hurt. He did not care about Fai. He _didn’t_.

 

Once they got home, Tomoyo went to her room, but not before completely crushing Kurogane’s spirit with her parting words. He glared at Tomoyo until she was out of his sight, and then until Fai hadn’t started making more nuisance to draw his ire.  

 

“So where is your room, Kuro-sama?” He asked, batting his eyelashes and smiling inanely at him.

 

Kurogane stalked off without a word, knowing Fai would follow. Tomoyo had foisted him on Kurogane, forcing them to room together and he wanted to bash his head against the wall _already_. He hadn’t forgotten how annoying this guy was; even if one discounted the vulnerable and painfully sweet side Fai had shown during sex. But then all of that had been an _act_ , wasn’t it? Disgust rose inside Kurogane, alongwith self-pity, and he didn’t know which he disliked more.

 

“Kuro-tan,” Fai said when they reached his room, poking him in the back. He placed the single suitcase he’d carried to one side and looked around the sparsely-furnished room with interest. “Are you still mad?”

 

Kurogane said nothing. But Fai wasn’t having it. He wrapped his arms around Kurogane’s middle and stood on his tiptoes to press their lips together, startling Kurogane despite himself. Did the idiot still want to carry on with this charade? Was this his angle? He ignored the softness of Fai’s lips, the sweetness of his kiss, and shoved Fai away roughly.

 

“Don’t fucking touch me,” he warned. He wanted to grab Fai’s collar and shake some sense into him, only to freeze when he noticed the way Fai looked there, for a split-second. Whatever he’d seen disappeared as soon as he’d noticed it, and Fai’s smile got wider to the point of grotesque.

 

“Ahahaha, sorry, Kuro-puu, I was just joking!” Fai said, far too brightly. “I’ll go unpack and have a shower.” He turned around right away and went to his suitcase.

 

Kurogane’s heart thudded painfully in his chest, once, twice, before he was spurred into action. He reached out to grab at Fai, to see his expression, but Fai evaded him neatly – did he have eyes in the back of his head? – and ran off to the bathroom with his clothes in tow. He’d even left his suitcase open and unattended. Kurogane sighed and bent down to shut it, frowning when he handled it but thought nothing of it. His mind was too full of irritating things to puzzle out anything else.

 

By the time Fai returned, the moment had passed and Kurogane lost his courage to confront Fai – or apologise to him. Fai’s face was a mask of pleasantness, and no matter how long he stared at it, he couldn’t crack it. They headed for dinner right away, so there wasn’t much Kurogane could do at that point. There was no way to bring it up during dinner either as Tomoyo was there too. She was sharp as ever because she noticed something was up right away, and kept shooting both of them worried looks. He should have known, too. Tomoyo was very kind-hearted, but she wasn’t stupid. She had taken to Fai, so that meant that he’d been –

 

Kurogane was such a _fool_.

 

* * *

 

The night was so painfully awkward. Fai had taken his futon and pulled it far away from Kurogane’s, ignoring him for all he was worth. If Kurogane prodded him, he was rewarded with another stupid nickname. In the end, Kurogane laid down in a huff and tried to smother himself with his comforter, wondering why he was bothering with Fai. But then he remembered the vulnerable line of Fai’s mouth, the way his eyes had looked into _his_ , and he knew _why_. That, however, did not mean he had to like it: he’d rather cut his arm off first.

 

Still, he stared in the gloom of his room at where that bright-haired moron was and sighed. Slowly, he sat up and took a deep breath. Kurogane wasn’t the kind of man who could go without righting his wrongs, no matter what it took, and this one mattered more than most. He crossed the _tatami_ floor and went to stand over Fai’s slight figure. Fai did not acknowledge him.

 

“Hey,” Kurogane said, and received no response. So he sat down and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for, even if you had fooled me.”

 

Fai’s fingers twitched and he seemed to hold his breath: it gave Kurogane heart and he pressed on, “If it’s not too late to start over…I’d like that. Would you?”

 

Fai did not move again, no matter how long Kurogane sat there. He could have manhandled him and shaken him awake, but that would defeat the purpose of _apologising_ , so he sat there for at least half an hour more. He stood up then and went back to his futon, heart heavy and guilt curling around his chest. He pressed his face into the thin bolster and tried to fall asleep. He achieved success somewhere around three in the morning, and was up at the crack of dawn nevertheless. He glanced once in Fai’s direction – that guy sure had a weird way of sleeping – and then left to do his early morning katas.

 

They met at the breakfast table. Tomoyo was nowhere to be found, so Kurogane dreaded the meal was going to be even more awkward than before. But:

 

“Good morning, Kuro-sama!” Fai greeted happily and sat down right next to him.

 

Kurogane looked down for a second, before managing something akin to a smile – and not a _smirk_ – and returned his greeting. When Fai looked at him this time, his usual smile had disappeared – replaced by a soft quirk of lips that set Kurogane’s heart fluttering in his chest. He was acting rather embarrassing, he knew, but right at this moment when Fai’s fair hair was illuminated by early morning sunshine, casting a glow on his face but nothing as bright as the look in his eyes – Kurogane couldn’t bring himself to care about such trivialities.

 

* * *

 

Kurogane had known happiness, of course he had – his childhood, as long as it had been allowed to last, had been very happy up right until the moment it wasn’t. He had loved his parents dearly, and was loved even more so in return. His mother was too gentle for a son as rambunctious as him, and yet she could strike terror in his heart with her voice, soft and sweet still. He remembered all of those things fondly, happily, because though they were gone from the world, they weren’t gone from his heart. He knew what happiness tasted like and wondered if he’d find some of his someday.

 

Fai didn’t make him happy. No, it would be more accurate to say that he allowed Kurogane to understand what _contentment_ felt like. He felt whole, complete and relaxed when he was with Fai; despite the fact that he knew Fai wasn’t telling him a lot of things. His secrets were like half-alive things, festering under the surface of Fai’s skin – not something he could see when he didn’t know, but he could feel press against his body whenever Fai made love to him. When their bodies were joined together, when they had melted together into one being, he could see the aching loneliness that surfaced in Fai’s eyes. The faraway look, the grim line of his mouth, no matter how Kurogane tried to kiss it away, he could never manage it. He wouldn’t ask for Fai’s past, it was none of his business and it didn’t matter to him either.

 

No, what mattered was what he had in his arms in _present_.

 

But was that enough for Fai?

 

Kurogane knew that it wasn’t, but even so he would try.

 

* * *

 

Life was harsh: it was a lesson Kurogane had to learn early in his life and so he tried not to take things for granted. He looked at the two futons set together in his room, and the scent of Fai’s shampoo coming from his bolster – Fai stole it more often than not – and tried not to get used to it too much. He eyed Fai’s suitcase in the corner and drummed his fingers against his knee, averting his gaze to look at the plum blossoms in the courtyard visible from his room. The ground was littered with white flowers, the herald of spring, and Kurogane closed his eyes, enjoying the mellow winter sunlight.

 

Fai’s head lay in his lap, body stretched out and his feet dangled off the floor. He was dozing off, breaths puffing a little in the cold and Kurogane grabbed the comforter and wrapped it securely around his slim frame. His hand lingered over Fai’s hair and he gave in to the impulse, letting his fingers slip through silky strands and enjoying how they felt to touch.

 

He only inclined his head a little when he felt Tomoyo settle down next to him, trying not to disturb Fai in his sleep. Tomoyo looked at both of them, before she too turned her gaze towards the bright flowers. He knew she wanted to talk about something, but held back on the account of Fai’s slumber. Kurogane felt fondness swell deep in his chest, surrounded by the people he loved, and being able to share a quiet moment in consideration. It was surreal.

 

“Kurogane,” Tomoyo said eventually. The sun was already setting and its slanting rays illuminated the courtyard with deep orange and red hues, reflecting off the pond in the corner. To Kurogane’s tired eyes, it looked as if the water itself was on fire. He shook his head to dislodge the image and looked at Tomoyo questioningly. “Fei Wang Reed is going to make his move.”

 

Kurogane’s hand fell from Fai’s hair.

 

“I know we’ve played a cat-and-mouse game with him this entire winter, but that’s over now. Tomorrow I’m going to separate myself from him, and then,” Tomoyo hesitated, clenched her fists and frowned. “Well, I was prepared for it from the moment I’d found out what he’s been up to.”

 

“He knows that too,” Kurogane said, quietly.

 

“I have found all the proof I needed. I’ve also secured it in case something happens to me before I can expose him. It has to happen before the ballot is cast – that is imperative. You know what to do.”

 

“I know,” Kurogane said and leaned his head against the wooden frame of the _shoji_ screen. “I don’t like it though.”

 

“I’m sure you can protect me, Kurogane. I have faith in you.” Tomoyo placed her hand over Kurogane’s and gave it a squeeze.

 

He turned his palm and took her fingers, squeezing them back and she leaned against him, briefly, before disentangling and getting up. She left though Kurogane did not watch her leave, his eyes instead fixed on the diffraction of light from the sunset and cloud cover, his heart in clamour.

 

He didn’t even notice that Fai had been awake for quite some time already.

 

* * *

 

After a tense dinner, they all retired to their respective rooms and Kurogane only paid only half a mind to Fai’s constant noise. He set his head down on the thin bolster and shut his eyes, trying not to think too much about the danger Tomoyo would be in from tomorrow onwards. He barely reacted when thin arms wrapped themselves around his body and Fai’s warm weight pressed from behind. Fai trailed several kisses on the exposed part of his neck and bucked his hips, showing his intent as effectively as he could.

 

And yet, Kurogane’s heart wasn’t in it. He was heartsick from worry. Just six months ago, he’d have relished the idea of going all out to protect Tomoyo though he’d have worried for her all the same. But the stakes had changed since then. He’d found happiness, he’d found peace: he’d found Fai. He didn’t mind risking his life for Tomoyo, and he was happy to know Fai shared this sentiment, but the idea of him dying for whatever reason made him sick to his stomach.

 

“Not tonight,” he said, pained. He turned around and took Fai into his arms instead, holding him close.

 

Fai opened his mouth to protest, but Kurogane silenced him with a kiss into which he’d poured all his love and desperation. When they broke away, they were both breathless – for different reasons, however. Fai stared at him for a long, long time until Kurogane couldn’t hold his gaze anymore and closed his eyes, exhausted.

 

His eyes snapped open when pain bit sharply into his side and warmth bloomed from below his ribs. He gasped, flinched when he saw the handle of a small knife sticking out from his side. Fai’s hands were dyed with his blood, face blank and eyes empty of all life. Kurogane wanted to reach out and take his face in his hands, to breathe back what he’d lost, but he couldn’t. Fai hit him hard enough to make him black out for a while, and when he came to, Fai was gone and he was trussed up securely in one corner of the room.

 

Kurogane took a few pained breaths, trying to get his bearings. A quick look at the clock told him he’d been out for five minutes tops, which meant Fai couldn’t have gotten to Tomoyo _just_ yet. The suitcase was missing too, so either Fai had taken it along with him, or he’d assembled the rifle inside, or just carried it away for now. No time to waste: Kurogane looked at the handle still sticking out of his flesh with consternation. His hands were tied behind his back, but he could get them in front and take the knife out to cut himself off. It did involve the risk of bleeding to death, but what choice did he have?

 

He struggled a little with the manoeuvre, each movement jarred the blade in his flesh, and by the time his hands were in front of him, he was sweating profusely. He didn’t waste time in tugging the knife out, cursed a little when blood arced from the cut and splattered on the tatami mats with abandon. The world swayed a little as he tried to get his breath back in order. A minute ticked by and he couldn’t take it anymore. He cut the ropes away and grabbed his katana, unsheathed it and dropped the scabbard on the ground. He did not have the luxury of using both hands. With his left hand clutching at the wound in his side, he started walking to Tomoyo’s room, _Ginryuu’s_ naked blade glinting in the moonlight.

 

The pain faded as his mind focused entirely on the _hunt_. He had to hunt down Fai and stop him before something happened to Tomoyo. She was his top priority and he’d cut Fai down if so much as a hair on her head was hurt. Adrenaline surged in his body and he quickened his steps, soundless against the wooden floors as he got to Tomoyo’s room. The door was wide open and he could see shadows inside. For one awful moment, he thought he was _too_ late, but no. He hadn’t heard her scream, hadn’t heard the telltale sound of a muffled gunshot, hadn’t heard anything yet.

 

He stepped inside the room and found Fai standing by her bedside, face shadowed as he watched her sleep. He turned around when Kurogane took one step further and _Ginryuu’s_ blade caught the errant moonlight, glinting off at the walls. Kurogane almost couldn’t recognise Fai the way he looked now, so devoid of emotion or life. In his hand there was a small pistol and its muzzle was pointed at Tomoyo’s forehead.

 

“Drop that gun or so help me I’ll carve you up,” Kurogane said. He was having trouble breathing now: perhaps the knife had hurt something worse than he’d imagined. But it was okay, as long as Tomoyo survived this, anything would be fine.

 

Fai’s eyes flicked towards the window, momentarily, and Kurogane caught the sight of the Remington Fai had kept in his suitcase. An unfamiliar man held it in his hands, standing right outside the window and had the gun trained on Tomoyo as well. So that’s where it went. Grimness settled deep into Kurogane’s body as he stepped forward, only to halt when Fai lifted the safety of his gun.

 

“Don’t come any closer,” he said tonelessly and put the cold barrel over Tomoyo’s skin.

 

Her eyes fluttered open and as awareness gathered in their violet depths, Kurogane bit his lip bad enough to draw blood. He had hoped she’d sleep through this – she didn’t need to see any of this.

 

“Fai-san.” Her voice was small.

 

“Please don’t talk,” Fai said in the same empty tone.

 

“Fei Wang does not have your brother,” Tomoyo said. She hadn’t moved, hadn’t tried to hide herself or get away. “He’s been dead for quite some time already.”

 

The gun in Fai’s hand trembled horribly.

 

“I’m so sorry,” Tomoyo said.

 

“Stop wasting time and kill her already,” the stranger interjected from the window.

 

Fai stiffened at his voice and dug the barrel of his gun into Tomoyo’s skin a little harder. He was shaking all over now. Kurogane eyed the stranger: it was now or _never._ He dashed forward as the rifle’s scope changed targets, from Tomoyo to Fai, ready to blast his skull open. Kurogane was there _first_ , shoving the idiot over and taking the shot in his left arm. The bullet pierced his bone and shattered it, making his arm hang down limply, but that was opportunity enough. As the stranger drew the bolt back to fire again, Kurogane charged forward and brought his sword down with full force. The man’s skull crunched under the force of his blow and he fell backwards, toppling over the low ledge. He wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone ever again.

 

Kurogane dropped his word, unable to hold on to it any longer and staggered to lean against the window. Fai was lying sprawled on the floor, eyes widened comically as he stared at Kurogane while Tomoyo was up on her feet, dialling for the emergency services.

 

“Idiot,” Kurogane wheezed. “Should have talked to me first before stabbing me.”

 

Fai got to his feet, the gun forgotten as he rushed to Kurogane’s side, only to stop when he saw the rapid blood loss. Tears slid freely from his eyes as he stared wordlessly at the amount of blood Kurogane was losing. Kurogane just lifted his uninjured hand and placed it gently over Fai’s hair, intending to bop him but unable to bring himself to do so.

 

“Don’t cry, idiot.”

 

Fai’s scream of anguish was terrible to hear nonetheless.

 

* * *

 

“How are you feeling?” Tomoyo asked, pale-faced under the harsh hospital lights.

 

Kurogane grunted, then immediately regretted it when he realised that breathing itself was painful.

 

“He got your ribs, and you accidentally hurt your lungs when you pulled the knife out. He’d wanted to immobilise you, but clearly he did not know you well enough,” Tomoyo said. She reached out to take his hand and cradled it close, gently and lovingly.

 

“You okay?” Kurogane asked. She did not seem to be injured, so that was good. He wouldn’t know what he’d do had she been injured while he was out, and all by his own foolishness, too.

 

“Yes,” she affirmed, then glanced at the door. “So is he. Physically, at least.”

 

“I see.”

 

“His brother –” Kurogane shook his head and Tomoyo halted, mid-sentence and nodded. “I’ll let him tell you, if he feels comfortable talking about it.”

 

She stepped out and Fai walked in, shutting the door behind him. He looked haggard, golden hair lying limp across his forehead and dark circles under his red-rimmed eyes. Kurogane watched as Fai paused right next to his bed, and then punched Kurogane’s pillow with enough force for him to feel the blow through the soft material.

 

“Why did you save me?” Fai demanded, quiet rage simmering just below the surface. Tears were threatening to break again and Kurogane couldn’t even wipe them away.

 

“Because I wanted to,” he answered simply.

 

“Your left hand can’t be fixed anymore,” Fai said, clenching his fingers into the thin material of Kurogane’s hospital gown, wrinkling it beyond help. “It’s useless now.”

 

Tears dripped on Kurogane’s face and he couldn’t help himself. He raised his right hand, wincing when it pulled on his injury. Fai noticed it and caught it in his hands before it could touch his face.

 

“What do you think you’re doing?” He demanded, pushing the hand back down and looking more and more upset.

 

Kurogane didn’t want that. He sighed. “It’s a small price to pay – my hand, I mean, as long as you live.”

 

“Are you out of your mind?” Fai asked, incredulous and more distraught than before. His grip on Kurogane’s hand was almost painful now. “I hurt you. I almost killed _Tomoyo_.”

 

“You couldn’t have killed Tomoyo,” Kurogane said.

 

Fai stared at him and Kurogane realised that maybe the idiot _didn’t_ know. He rolled his eyes and sighed again, as much as that hurt him again.

 

“You love her too much to hurt her,” he pointed out.

 

“Didn’t stop me from stabbing you.” Fai laughed humourlessly and let go of Kurogane’s hand. He sat down, hiding his tears away from Kurogane’s line of sight and Kurogane longed to pull him into his arms and hated his inability to do so.

 

“You could have aimed for my heart instead of my side, you idiot, but you chose not to. You think I don’t realise that?” Kurogane said. “I wasn’t exactly in the position to defend myself. But no, you didn’t kill me when you knew that the biggest hindrance between you and your mission was _me_. You could have shot Tomoyo any time, but you waited until I found you. You would have thrown yourself at her had that fucker with your gun shot at her. Or failing that, you’d have chosen to die at my sword, but you couldn’t have pulled that trigger. Stop trying to pull the wool over my eyes. Idiot.”

 

Fai lowered his head and buried his face in Kurogane’s shoulder, weeping openly like a child, and Kurogane put his cheek over Fai’s matted blond hair and resisted the urge to sigh again. How had he fallen in love with such a hopeless idiot?

 

\---

 

In the beginning of the summer, they accompanied Tomoyo to the parliament where she’d take over her new office. Fei Wang had been put away for good, and Kurogane was beginning to recover from his injuries quiet well. After they saw her off, Fai and Kurogane went to the graveyard where Kurogane’s parents had been interred. Another grave had been made next to them, the name _Fai_ carved on the stone tablet above it. Fai had told him that they had never been given a last name, so he had nothing to add to the pile of bones he had found in Fei Wang’s place – the only thing that now remained of his brother.

 

Kurogane couldn’t give him a last name, but he could give him a place to let his brother rest. He watched as Fai placed flowers and incense in front of the graves, all three of them, and prayed for them. Kurogane did not, but he didn’t need to, though he hoped that their loved ones were in peace, wherever they were.

 

When they started walking back to the car, Kurogane wrapped his right arm around Fai’s shoulders and pulled him close.

 

“You want my last name?”

 

Fai paused, inhaled shakily and then kissed Kurogane, slow and tender, murmuring his assent in a breathless hush.


End file.
